Posted by Adam
1. BOBA FETT/ SNAKE EYES.........NOW I PUT THESE TWO IN THE SAME CATAGORY BECAUSE THEY HOLD THE SAME STRANGE MYSTERY THAT A BOUNTY HUNTER AND A MILITARIZED NINJA WOULD. WE DONT KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE AND THEY HAVE SIMILAR MASKING /ARMOUR. I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO MAGICALLY WARP INTO EITHER OF THESE GUYS IN MY YOUNGER YEARS...... AND HEY....THERE ARE STILL MOMENTS WHEN I'D LOVE TO MASK MYSELF AND BOUNTY HUNT IN NINJA-LIKE SECRECY......WHO WOULDN'T?
2. MARTY MCFLY/ BACK TO THE FUTURE......HIGHEST GROSSING FILM OF 1985... AFTER SEEING THE HOVERBOARD AND RAISED TRUCK PARKED IN MARTY'S GARAGE AT THE END OF THE FILM......TELL ME YOU DIDNT WANT TO BE MARTY OR AT LEAST OWN ONE OF THESE TOYS. THIS FILM IS STILL ONE OF THE GREATS AND MICHAEL J FOX STILL RULES. IN FACT I'M GOING TO ALSO CREDIT THIS FILM FOR DRIVING ME TO SKATEBOARD.......IT JUST MADE IT LOOK WAY TOO FUN.
3. FRAGGLE ROCK......THE DOOZERS. WHAT THE FUCK WERE THESE THINGS? THE UNDERGROUND LITTLE GREEN MEN WORKING ON BRIDGES, TUNNELS AND ALSO HYDROELECTRICITY THAT RAN FROM FRAGGLE POND. WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED THE DOOZERS WERE "GOING GREEN" WAY BEFORE AL GORE DECIDED TO TAKE THE CREDIT. MUCH OPPOSITE OF THE FRAGGLES THAT CRAZILY SCURRIED ABOVE THESE LITTLE CREATURES THE DOOZERS WERE THE WORKER BEE BEHIND THE SCENES.....WELL ORGANIZED AND HANDLING SHIT WHILE THE OTHERS PLAYED. I COULD USE SOME DOOZERS TO HANDLE SHIT FOR ME.....MAYBE THAT'S WHO TAKE AUTO-PILOT DURING MY BLACK-OUT DRUNKEN RAGES.......A DOOZER'S IN MY HEAD.
4. SWEDISH CHEF.....TELL ME RIGHT NOW THAT THIS DUDE DIDNT MAKE YOU WANT TO THROW SHIT? IN FACT.....I'M BLAMING THE CHEF FOR THE 4 LAPTOPS THAT I'VE THROWN OUT OF COMPLETE SENSELESS ANGER VERY COMPARABLE TO THE MAN'S. "HUMDY...HUMDY.....BORK, BORK, BORK" ....AS SOON AS THOSE WORDS HIT MY EARS I WANT TO SEE SHIT FLYING.....UTENCILS, FOOD, AND YES.....EVEN THE OCCASIONAL LAPTOP. THERE NOTHING BETTER THAN MUTTERING WORDS OF NONSENSE WHILE HUCKING OBJECTS VIOLENTLY INTO THE AIR. MY LIFE STORY.
5. SNUFFLEUPAGUS......THIS ANCIENT LOOKING BEAST HALF SLOTH/ HALF WOOLY MAMMOTH WOULD SHUFFLE HIS WAY ACCROSS OUR LIVING ROOM TV WITH THE PERFECT STONY PACE THAT LAID THE GROUNDWORK FOR ME TO BECOME A FULL FLEDGED STONER. SLOW SPEAKING AND PRECISE HE WAS MODELED AFTER THE IMAGINARY FRIEND THAT WE ALL HAVE AND WAS A FRIEND TO BIG BIRD. I THINK MY IMAGINARY FRIENDS WERE A BIT SMALLER BUT JUST AS KIND AND GENTLE.....THIS IS WHERE I COULD TAKE A LESSON FORM THE OLD SNUFF.
6. STATLER & WALDORF........THESE TWO OLD BASTARDS ARE PARTIALLY TO BLAME FOR MY SARCASM AND SHIT TALKING. HOW GREAT IT WAS FOR THESE TWO!!!.......TO SIT IN A BALCONY FAR AWAY FROM THE OTHERS ONLY TO POINT OUT THE SHORT COMINGS AND MISHAPS OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS. IT REMINDS ME OF MYSELF SITTNG BEHIND THIS COMPUTER....TALKING MY SHIT.....JUST FAR ENOUGH AWAY TO PUSH BUTTONS BUT NEVER CLOSE ENOUGH TO FEEL THE REPERCUSSIONS. I LOVE IT AND I LOVED THESE TWO AS A CHILD. MY FAVORITE FUNNY MEN ALWAYS SEEM TO BE ASSHOLES.
7. ALF......ALIEN LIFE FORM. STARTING IN '86 WE HAD A NEW FORM OF ALIEN IN OUR LIVING ROOMS. OTHERWISE KNOWN AS ALF, THE BRAINCHILD OF NOVELIST AND SCREENWRITER JERRY STAHL, THIS ALEIN WAS CREATED OUT OF HEROIN ADDICTION AND DRUG ABUSE......JUST MY KIND OF ALIEN. I'D HAVE TO SAY THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE A MUSHROOM SCENARIO THAN HEROIN BUT HEY.....WE ALL SEE DIFFERENT COLORS IN LA-LA LAND. THIS HAIRY CAT EATING FRIEND OF OURS BROUGHT US INTO THE 90'S WHERE A WHOLE NEW BREED OF CHARACHTERS TOOK OVER. I HAD A SPEAKING DOLL OF ALF THAT USED TO MURMUR SUCH QUOTES AS "GIVE ME FOUR" AND "HERE...KITTY KITTY"......... TWO QUOTES I USED FREQUENTLY THESE DAYS WHEN BUYING PILLS AND CHASING PUSSY.
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